There are important, exciting shifts in the horizon, which always makes me a little introspective and asking a lot of meaningful questions. What do you do when you’ve poured yourself into a glass and found that even though it’s full, it’s still missing something? A teaspoon of sugar perhaps. Some milk? Or maybe you were meant to be drinking a different sort of juice after all.
You might have remembered the retreat I attended a few weeks ago, the beginning of the unraveling and of having walked into an open door to my soul and being forever changed. Today I’d like to share a little more what that means, what it looks like for the studio in the year ahead and to remember all the other times when my heart has called. There are some navigational strategies that has helped me along the way that I’ll share as well so that when you do hear your heart call you’ll have a toolkit to navigate feeling lost in no man’s land.
Firstly, what does it look like? Heart calls for me have always had distinct stages, not unlike the stages of grief and would appear at first sighting to be a looming tragedy. To this point, it is rather eucatastrophic in nature, a term I’ve long been fascinated with ever since I discovered it in Tolkien’s autobiography:
“I coined ‘eucatastrophe’: the sudden happy turn in a story which pierces you with a joy that brings tears (which I argued it is the highest function of fairy-stories to produce).” -J.R.R Tolkien.
If we were to see ourselves as heroes of our own romantic journey and myth, heart calls are eucatastrophic turning points: heart-wrenching melancholy pierced by blinding joy, like shimmering streaks of sun breaking through dark, stormy clouds.
The Stages:
The Unsettling
Feeling unsettled, like something is off balance. At this stage, I’m usually unsure of the cause, only that something is not right.
The Devastation
Crumpling, when all my world feels like it has slipped away under my feet. This is the beginning of feeling lost.
The Glimpse
With support, way-finding maps and lots of creative exploration, finally a breathtaking glimpse of what’s possible. I always feel like a child at this stage, with the world my playground. The beauty of what lays ahead always takes me aback here, the trick is to map it and hold it in my mind for the treacherous journey I know will come.
The Revelation
Clarity forms, the path for the next stage of my journey appears magically ahead and I forge single-mindedly onward. This stage may take awhile to appear but with hard work and determination, it will come.
In the past 5 years, my heart has called for a change three times and always towards a higher, better version of my previous self. The first time was when I made the long overdue decision to leave traditional architectural practice behind for a creative career yet unknown. The second, was my shift from specializing in hand-painted event invitations to soulful brand design. The third brings us back to present day.
When I envisioned my little studio back mid last year, I had seen it as a symbiotic relationship between my art and design studios, an interplay between my artist self and my designer self, harmoniously existing in a delicate web of give and take resulting in rich, soulful work.
Along the way, many shiny objects had me deciding that my artist self would take the back seat. I saw myself building my skills one at a time, deciding to concentrate on design like a child that has grown up, putting away her doll in a closet because she has discovered makeup and boys.
“Find something to specialize in, or you will confuse others,” was the advice I kept hearing.
So in my 5 year vision map, my art studio was shelved to sometime 3 years down the road. How wrong I was. The magical retreat I embarked on with the Red Fox clan changed all that. I saw my artist self like a child, sad and neglected, eyes glassy with unshed tears, peering at me behind the wrought iron doors I had placed her. My heart ached and I opened the door.
What does this mean now? It means that for the near future, I will heed my heart. Will I be creating large paintings, re-opening the online boutique, or creating objects as yet unexplored? Perhaps all of it! I’m not sure how it looks like yet, but yes, I hope for it to be inspired and I will be committing to art-making in the months to come. The Design Studio will remain as it is, commissions will be limited to truly aligned, soul-centered projects that are meant to be.
Way-finding Toolkit for Navigating Heart Calls:
These are in my little leather survival bag because they’ve been tremendously helpful to me:
- Hire a coach, a life coach, a creativity coach or a business coach. Having someone to guide you in the earlier, darker stages of change can be a huge relief and will stop you from sliding into depression or dwelling too long in the abyss. If money is a concern, get an accountability group or loop in a close friend for support.
- Strengthen your relationships and meaningful personal activities. Go on dates, throw dinner parties, organize road trips. Make your life as rich as possible so that you don’t feel so alone and lost.
- Explore, explore, explore. Try everything that calls out to you. Take live classes, play, meet new people. Travel. Move to a new city!
- Do soul exploration. Read books or take online courses on navigating this confusing inner landscape. Martha Beck. Susannah Conway. Danielle LaPorte. Clarissa Pinkola-Estes. Julia Cameron. Eric Maisel. There are so many out there. Take your pick.
- Map. Visualize and plan when things start to take shape. I like my Evernote for this.
- Journal, whether it’s an art journal, an artist journal or just a diary of your thoughts. I like this one for some instruction and this amazing artisan for all my journals. It’s a great outlet for your restless energy and mind chatter, and for exploring ideas!
What’s in your personal navigation survival kit? Do you have something you’ve found useful in such confusing times? Do share below, I’d love to hear from you!
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This post is part of the Do-Over! Dare-well Blog Tour: 9 Do-Over Divas Dishing about Reinvention brought to you by Katie Grant of Plume: a handcrafted copy shoppe. Pushing restart takes some gumption. This tour will give you that and then some.