What Stops The Magic & Why We Don’t Create

(Listen To This Travelogue Entry)

In my last Secret World piece, I shared a personal story about what it’s like to fall out of love with your own art-making and the important things we must do to keep the creative flame burning so we don’t find ourselves with our dreams shattered around our feet.

Today I want to take a closer look at why we’re not creating in our daily lives, because sometimes we might not know the real reason we’re stuck. We’re not sure if it’s a fading creative romance, or a mere bump in the road of inspiration. All we know is that things just aren’t flowing in the studio. This is my story of creative paralysis, perhaps you’ll find a piece of yourself in it too.

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One day a few years ago, I remember bringing a set of my hand-painted cards to a very artsy, very quirky gallery-store in town to see if they were interested in carrying them. “These are really sweet,” the manager said politely, looking at my cards, “But they’re not really our style. We like work that’s a little more…unusual.” I smiled in return, thanked her and walked away, but inside, I died a little, taking what she said to mean my art wasn’t very interesting and so did not earn a spot on the shelves next to the darkly witty tshirts and the haunting big-eyed dolls. I stopped making those cards shortly after despite a small but very enthusiastic following on Etsy. I convinced myself I wasn’t meant to be an artist because I had nothing Interesting and Original to say, and so I packed that little dream away.

But before I gave up, I tried a few more things. I took my easel, paints and a handful of papers to a small little beach-side town nearby for a solo Creative Retreat. I wanted to create a collection of 10 paintings to start a new line in my online shop. I dreamed of creating work inspired by my own imagination, not just the dreams and ideas of others-as I was doing mostly commissioned work at that time. I made not a single painting that weekend and returned home disappointed. I didn’t try the retreat again for a long time.

There were many other instances in my decade long creative career where the magic just wouldn’t come. There were times when I resorted to deep breathing exercises and complicated entry rituals because I was convinced I had a lot of Fear and Resistance like so many books on art out there touted.

Also, in those days, when I brainstormed on paper what I really wanted to create, it all seemed overwhelming. So Many Ideas, too many possibilities and so I didn’t begin any. Or if I did, they dead-ended or fizzled into a pile of unfinished projects because it wasn’t Perfection. And Time was never on my side, I couldn’t possibly squeeze 15 minutes in for personal work when I was already struggling to fit all my client projects in my busy designer’s schedule. Besides, 15 minutes wasn’t enough anyway for anything really good, so why try?

And then there were those unexpected, seemingly random moments of Pure Creative Magic. Planning my wedding. Fabricating sculptural Japanese metal pendants and earrings for my loved ones. A set of penciled totem cards during an enchanted gathering. An ocean-inspired watercolor series.

And then suddenly and quite magically, it all changed.

I had begun to connect the dots to all my best creative moments and discovered a distinct pattern to what was missing in all the times when things weren’t flowing. When I realized this I felt like I’d stumbled upon a secret door to a garden of inspiration my favorite artists knew about that I didn’t.

These days I couldn’t worry about Originality even if I wanted too. There’s so much I’m excited say and create that I cannot wait to get to it all, and so I haven’t a spare moment for doubt. Curiously enough, folks started responding to my work in a way I never thought was possible just a few short years ago. While approval should never be a primary motive for our art-making, it was nonetheless gratifying to know that something was awakening within me and it was shining through to others.

Perfectionism still reared its ugly head every now and then, but instead of dragging my feet, there’s much to fill my time with while I waited for the right jigsaw puzzle piece to complete the beautiful picture in my head. I also learned to let go and TRUST that the pieces will come if I just kept going.

Yes I still have Too Many Ideas but they don’t overwhelm me anymore, it’s easy to see what I want to work on first, next and later and so my creative life became fuller and more productive. And nowadays I can create in 15 minutes or 8 hours; in the studio, curled up in a rocky hidey-hole, or while camping in the rain; with, or without my full set of tools and materials. None of it mattered, not Time, not Space, not Tools.

As for Creative Retreats? I found a better alternative, but that’s a different story I will share very soon.

What happened? What did I discover behind that secret garden door that made all the difference between creating and not creating?

Enchantment. Excitement. Passion. Aliveness. Wonder. Vivid, honest-to-goodness interest. And it burns within me. You see, what I found on the other side of the door was myself. Who I am, what I love, what took my breath away, and what I live for. 

I thought I knew myself, but I really didn’t. What I learned unlocked the art within me and trampled all the reasons why I didn’t create.

I discovered that art comes not because we’ve found a way to fight Fear or Resistance, or the myriad other reasons we tell ourselves about why we don’t create.

It comes because we are alive inside and out.

It comes when we dig deep into what lights us up inside.

It comes when we have hopes, beliefs, dreams and experiences burning so brightly we glow like coals in a hearth.

But most of all, I discovered that art is the language of the soul, and so we must live for it to come.

Yes, there is a Myth out there on what we must do when we don’t create. And it’s dependent on guilt and willpower. Discovering the wonder-filled alternative behind the secret door changed everything for me in my creative practice. I could never go back to deep breathing exercises again.

Have you you found your secret door?

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“The object isn’t to make art, it’s to be in that wonderful state that makes art inevitable. ” -Robert Henri.

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Here’s a little exercise you can try :
Grab a journal and list all the reasons why you don’t create.
List all the times in the past when creating was like magic.
Do you see a pattern? What was it?

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p/s: Despite all I discovered, it wasn’t long before I realized that keeping the aliveness and magic within me is a lifelong effort. It’s easy to forget about wonder-seeking when I’m arms-deep in goals and responsibilities. In the next, concluding piece to this mini-series I’m going to share with you a free little adventure kit I created for my own forgetful moments that I think would help you find your own secret door to inspiration. Stay tuned!

pp/s : Please share this post if you know someone who might be thinking they can’t possibly have creative flow and that fear and resistance is the only reason why, I can’t stress enough how important it is that there is another way to find the magic!